Salvation....

Peace, Quiet, Calm... Thursday morning - Mum and Russell departed for 10 days in Tasmania. Ange and Craig departed for 5 days somewhere with friends for NYE. Nice... All that's left??? Di and David... The extra-ordinarily loud in-laws (Russells brother and sister-in-law). That was OK, since I took off to the city (Thanks for the car Ange!!) met Dean for lunch, then Andy for a couple of glasses of red and our chat. Then met Dean after work - the plan : Dinner and a movie. Headed to Victoria Gardens (via Vietnamese for dinner) to watch The Holiday. I was so suprised... this movie is great! I am not really into romantic comedies... mostly because I'm a big sook, and I cry... so not really a good look. So I avoid them - period. But I have to say, the movie was fantastic. Yes I cried - discretely... about 7 times. Go see it. Or atleast get it for a romantic night in when it comes out on DVD. I think Dean and I will have many of those with this movie...

Friday morning, drove back to Mill Park (Hell's Corner if you remember...) to Di and David packing to leave... 2 hours later - they are gone. And all the dogs too. OH-MY-GOD... peace, quiet, calm...

Don't get me wrong, they are lovely people - but I just don't do loud very well.

Picked Dean up from work and went to Hairy Canary for dinner. I was craving steak... Curled up on the couch and watched Heartbreakers with Sigourney Weaver, Gene Hackman and Jennifer Love-Hewitt. Love that movie. Dean had never seen it, but he loved it. I fell asleep, head in Dean's lap, half way through, and woke up at the closing credits... time for bed... and another morning I get to wake up in heaven - my sweetheart next to me.

Ho Ho Fucking Ho

Christmas - 3 days of food, booze, and visitors. I don't think I coped very well. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were spent trapped in a houseful of possibly the LOUDEST people ever... add to that the fact I was spending it without my sweetheart (see previous post), and the confusion and loneliness of relocating to a new city, without all of my usual friends, associates and familiar surroundings... very depressing.

Boxing Day morning, Ange and I decided we were heading out early to partake in that totally 'un-Christmas-like' tradition - the Boxing Day sales... Not just for the bargains, but also to get the hell out of the house... 2 full days of it was more than I could handle. So, along with Ange's man Craig, we drove (well, thats a fairly loose term... the fingernail marks in the door handle will be a permanent reminder of Ange's driving skills....) to Northlands Shopping Centre. A shopping mecca in the heart of the suburban sprawl (or should that be drawl) - 'twas a generic place, like any other Westfields or the like. Same stores, same style, the only difference was... the people. I think I was the only man not wearing flanellette, track pants, footy tops, or a combination of all the above. It was loud, obscene and even a tad creepy. I think I was the only gay boy in the whole centre - possibly because they had beaten the rest of them up already.

So wandered around there for a while, bought a few bits and pieces, really not getting into the spirit of post Christmas sales - but did manage to get a charger for my ipod (unnecessary - as I was to find out later) ... I can now immerse myself in Janet, Justin, Missy and Christina once again...

Headed back to Mum's about the time my little brother Jack and fiance Amy came over, bringing with them my darling niece Ava Grace. The remainder of the day was focussed on Ava - playing, being silly, brushing up on my baby talk, etc etc... God I was getting so clucky.... got to get me one of these.... :o)


They left, suddenly the fear of being here without something to entertain me returned... Ange, Ange, what are we gonna do - let's go out... Pub? Cafe? Even a sulfur mine? Anything... please...
So the three of us cleaned up and headed out for the rest of the afternoon. They took me to a place called Angler's Tavern (I think...) somewhere they had been about 2 years earlier and said it was great... oh... no... another nasty pub makeover was apparent - it looked more like an RSL club - and to make it worse, had a Childrens Play Room... where you can lock your kids away while you get trashed and flush all your money away on the pokies.

My turn to save the day - So I took them to Bimbo's on Brunswick Street @ Fitzroy. Love this place. Dean and I went there one time a few months ago to have a drink with Pauline and Joel. Dark, grungy, VERY Newtown. Loved it. Weird ass dolls all over the place - especially the (ahem, well endowed) S&M one hanging from a harness above the bar. I posted a pic of this from my last visit... here it is again :

So anyway, we hung out there for a couple of hours, maybe longer, not really sure... we got relatively sloshed, before Ange decided she wanted to go to a gay bar... hmmm... I know there are some over near Chapel street, but that was the best I could do. SO we drove over there and wandered up Commercial Road looking for the tell tale signs of homosexual life - music, squeals, lights and colour... Arrived at DIVA, empty... quick exit. Next was Heaven's Door - was told this was a gay bar, but I think I was the only one in there. It was very busy, but from what I could work out, all straight. Hmmm... So after a drink and a boogie, we popped back to DIVA. The barman insisted there was "a group of 10 coming shortly..."... so we decided to hang there and see what happens. Sure enough, 15 minutes later - count them : 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9... 10! They had arrived. We were well and truly trashed at that stage, so I was happy to just wander around and talk to strangers. Met a few nice people - well, they could have been awful, but in my condition, everyone was wonderful... chatted for a while. They were a lovely middle aged couple having a quiet drink. Sweet. So at this point Ange and Craig decided they had had enough - and abandoned me. Left on my own, I was a little worried, since I didn't know where to go... but someone mentioned XChange - a block further up the street. So I headed up there. I remember going there about 4 years ago - hadn't changed. Bought a drink, wandered around, chatted to strangers. As a new addition to the Melbourne scene, I was quickly dragged into a welcoming group - took me under their wing, so to speak. They were nice, friendly. I was invited back to a party at someones house - so the whole group made their way there. No idea where it was, just followed the throng... Hung out there with everyone - I think there were about 10 of us - a few girls, most of the guys were mid/late 30's and 40's. Don't remember most of them... I fell asleep briefly, woke up to find almost everyone had already left. The ones still remaining had also passed out. Headed home to clean myself up before heading back into the city to see Dean.

Horribly hung over, the tram trip was vile... made it to Dean's about 12. He opened the door, and we stood in the doorway holding each other. I had a bit of a cry - Dean was somewhat unemotional, and it worried me. I thought this was it. So a little shaky, I followed him inside and we went up stairs. More hugging, nuzzling...

Afterwards, Christmas gifts... Dean got to open his from me on Christmas Day... So mine were still sitting in his bedroom.

Funny, as it almost seemed like any time over the past 6 months I saw something and commented, he must have made a mental note... Hot new Tigers, the sexy beach towel from G-Star Raw, cute sleep shorts and tank tops from Peter Alexander, a new dock, charger and leather case for my iPod, 4 packs of Melbourne Deck of Secrets Cards : 1 for shopping, 1 for bars, 1 for restaurants and 1 for culture (museums, art galleries etc).

All very cool.

After that, we drove back to Mill Park, gorged on McDonald's (and made fun of the people - purple hair on a 30something housewife really is asking for it...) and then he dropped me off at home. As much as I wanted to spend more time with him, he had things to do... and it was probably good that we just take it easy for now anyway. The rest of the evening I just chilled, ate, then headed for bed at 8.30.

For the first time since our argument on Saturday night, I had a great, full, uninterrupted sleep.

To Dean / To Andy

My Darling Dean,

I really don't know where to start. Firstly, I am so deeply sorry. I am sorry that we fought. I am sorry for everything that was said. I am sorry that we are not together today, Christmas Day. I am sorry that there is even a chance that we may never be together again. I hope that isn't the case, I truly do.

I feel so empty without you - especially today, what was going to be our first Christmas together. I spent last night awake, wishing I was holding you, feeling your warmth against me and listening to your breathing and heart beat - and this morning, waking up alone and not being able to hold you...

I wanted to be with you to see your face when you opened your gifts - I wanted that time to share with you so badly, that I cried through our family presents this morning.

I feel so alone right now, and I have realised how much I need you, how much I miss you, and how much it hurts to think that I might have lost you.

Arguments are a normal part of every relationship - especially in the first year - as they help us to learn about the other person, and help us understand how to be more patient and how to compromise when it's needed.

Horrible things are said by both people - the purpose : to hurt. It's always what makes it worse, and makes things so much harder to resolve.

Afterwards, it takes is love, understanding, the ability to talk about it - and most importantly, the ability to forgive each other.

I don't just love you, Dean - I am in love with you and I need you - I think we are great together, and I don't want it all lost over this.

We always have such an amazing time together. Always fun, always interesting, always perfect. You make me so happy. You make me feel so good about myself.

I really hope you have a wonderful day today with your family and friends. I also hope we will get a chance to talk, and make everything good again.

Please forgive me.

Call me soon...
.......................................................................

Andy,

You are such a great friend to Dean, and I am sorry that me being here has upset that. I sometimes feel under so much pressure to get along with everyone, to impress everyone, and to feel that I am 'approved'. But at the same time I find it difficult adapting to my new life, new surroundings, new people - and doing this while I try to develop a new relationship.

If you will give me the opportunity, I want to sit down with you and talk - get to know you and understand you better.

You do so much for everyone - including me - so selflessly, for which I admire. You really are a great friend to everyone. You took me into the fold so quickly and so readily and along with all of Dean's friends, I have felt so welcome.

I need to be honest... I do find you intense at times, which I believe is probably the root of my lack of patience with you. I want to learn to be more patient with you, I just need some time to adjust and get to know you.

I apologise for anything I have said or done to upset you.

I hope we can be friends.

Hell's Corner - population : me

Well my first few days in Melbourne...

After arriving Saturday evening, Dean and I met Mum and Russell at the front of the terminal - we had decided a good compromise for my first night in Melbourne was to spend it at my mums place... with Dean. It was either that, or Mum and Russ stay with us at Deans house.... ummm, yeah, nuh... :o) So we spent the night at Mums just hanging out, drinking, chatting...

The next few days were a bit strange... I guess I was feeling a bit left of the middle - a fish out of water as it were - not really certain what I was doing, not really feeling like I was supposed to be here. Sunday & Monday were spent just hanging out in the city - having lunch with Dean when he was on break. It didn't matter what we did, I was just so happy to be down here closer to him.
Tuesday I met mum after work and headed back out to Mill Park, or as I now affectionately refer to it "Hell's Corner".

Wednesday I thought I would head up to the Sports Centre, have a workout (God knows I needed one... 2 weeks since my last gym visit...) but when I got up there, the woman at the counter says "We don't lark strangers in our town, these here faciliteees is for our townsfolk only... you'll find a Fitness First just 3 days west a here by horseback..." Or, something along those lines.

Suffice to say, there was no gym for me... best I could do were chin-ups using the BBQ area awning... :o(

That night, I was so bored... excrutiatingly. I was so bored, I walked up to Safeway (about 20 minutes away) and proceeded to follow each aisle doing imaginary grocery shopping...

Thursday - Up at 5.30... didn't want to miss the chance of getting a lift back towards the city with mum. Got to Dean's at 8.30, then chilled, met for lunch, did some christmas shopping etc.

Thursday night was a fucking blast. Dean and Co had a small Christmas dinner / drinks with some friends. Lots of food, lots of drink, lots of great people and great conversation. Good times...

Friday, Laid around until 1pm, then crawled out from under my hang over to go into the city to meet Dean for lunch. More shopping... 1 1/2 hours in the gift wrapping queue at Myer... Home again, back under my hang over.

Saturday was spent last minute shopping, again. I was so over shopping that I was exhausted, and almost in tears. Finally... it was all over. All done. Thank God...

Hello Melbourne!!!

OK, so I recovered fairly well on Saturday... actually, thats crap... I didn't. I dragged myself out of bed at 11 - greeted Tony with a "HMMPH" - I think that roughly translated into "Oh my God, I think I'm dying..." So had a black coffee... now I'm 30% human. Talked a bit over a second black coffee... 60% human. Shower... 80%... getting there...

Packed and out of the house at 3 - off to Marios BBQ at Surry Hills. First off though, a quick stop to say bye to Craig. The man doesn't like goodbye's... and you could see it. "Well, OK (said with a slight step backwards away from me), bye!..." I knew what he meant... the big teddy bear doesn't like to show emotion in public... sweet ;o)

OK... my last stop before hopping my flight to Melbourne. Mario's BBQ. Still feeling only 85% human, I stayed clear of the beer, and stuck to coke and snags... mmm, grease... Ran into a very old friend, Chris, who was part of the whole Barry / Mario / Brad / Peter / Chris group many years ago. Great to see him. Lots of catching up... good thing was, both of us were horrendously hung over, so there was no pressure to keep conversation... just lots of eye rolling, sighs, moans, interspersed with occasional catch up bits.
Enjoyed the BBQ entertainment... Baz decided to set the gas BBQ alight... I think he was pouring oil on some steaks, and it ran underneath to the drip tray - which then caught alight with plumes of billowing black smoke... we were all preying for firemen.....

Met a fabulous chick named Catherine, who is a singer from Melbourne. She has been living in Sydney for a couple of years and heading back to Melbourne at the end of January. She was great - so we have decided to keep in touch, and she will be dragging me out into the live music scene when she gets here. God knows, I need some friends in Melbourne!
Hey... Not that Chalks, Imma, Pauline etc are not friends... they are great. But since they are primarily Dean's friends, I really need to find some of my own! Can't expect Dean and Co to have me tagging along everywhere for all eternity... :o)

So after the BBQ, Tony and Baz took me to the airport. Seemed to be a similar thing to Craig: "OK Mate, see ya soon." Gone... hahah where do I find em, huh??

My last look around at Sydney before I entered the Terminal. Cabbie arguing with a passenger - the international tourist actually spoke better english than the cabbie did... Westie scrag swawking at her three equally unattractive children, with mullet topped tattooed megadeth tshirt wearing wanker husband behind dragging the luggage - obviously not the kids father, well, maybe one of them - the kid with the matching mullet and tattoos.

Ah Sydney... how I will miss you...

So check in time : Since I was travelling on Dean's ticket (tsk, tsk, tsk - I believe that is now a federal offence, something to do with terrorism - personally, I think the mullet-topped westies were more guilty of causing terror than I ever could...) So checked in, no problems, boarding pass in hand. Security... 'Bag Check!" Shit, I forgot I had WMD's in my hand luggage. Well, more like my anti perspirant can... So I had to open my bag... Now, since I couldn't check luggage in due to the Dean's ticket routine, I could only take carry on. This meant squashing 3 suitcases of clothes, toiletries, shoes and other odds and ends into a single carry on sized bag. B-U-S-T-I-N-G A-T T-H-E S-E-A-M-S...

So unzipped the bag and, SCHLA-WING!!!! (True, thats exactly how it sounded...) The bag flew open and shoes, tshirts, and underwear fell all over the place. Worst part was, well two things : 1. It was Saturday afternoon... peak period for trips to Melbourne... and 2. I had to show the man my anti-perspirant can BEFORE I could pick up my tighty-bloody-whiteys!

So after a few minutes of red-faced, huffing, puffing, squishing stuff back into the bag... I was on my way again.

The arrival : Coming off the plane, walked into the terminal looking for Dean. There he was... huge grin, looking as sexy as ever... Big hug and kiss...

I was here.

Farewell Sydney....

So Friday night was my farewell drinks. I didn't organise anything special... just a handful of friends, a few drinks, sad hugs and byes at the end... Much nicer than organising a huge group of people... most of which I probably wasn't that bothered if they came or not.. so better to make it small and sweet. :o)

Drinks were done in two parts...

First up was from 5.30pm at VBar, cnr Liverpool and Pitt Sts Sydney. This one was for old work mates - easier to catch them straight after work on a Friday than convincing them to head up to a bar later in the night... So I met up with Crist, Dave, Nick (Philomena's BF - Phil couldn't make it since she was at a Hen's night in the mountains...) and Grant & his BF.


So hung out there chatting and giggling and carrying on. This wog guy and his girlfriend come in and sit on a couch right behind us, and whoa.... the guy has the BIGGEST lunch on him.... he obviously knows it and likes the attention cos of the way he sat - half slouched legs wide apart, one hand resting to the side, kind of directing peoples eyes... so we proceeded to ogle for a while, all the time making lewd comments, giggling, and discussing in depth as to whether it was all, ummm, well... as they say in There's Something About Mary "Franks or Beans", or a bit of both... (we decided that you can tell based on the shape as to which part is which)....
All this was done to the total disgust of Crist and Grant.

So anyway, the couple disappeared, so it was back to general chit chat again. 8pm came, and it was time for me to head up to Slide on Oxford Street, which was where part two of my farewell evening was to take place.




Roll Call : Andy & Drew, Penny, Dove, Pauly & his BF Alan, Sarah, Bazz & Tony, Johnny, Alan, Kamon & friend (Can't remember his name! He was lovely though...) , god... there were a few others, but buggered if I can remember. Apologies to those... but when I recall, I promise I will update it here!




I had already downed at least 5 beers at VBar, so arriving at Slide, I was already well and truly lubricated.







Friends arrived at different times throughout the night, drinks kept coming, the mood was fantastic, the bar was amazing, and the people were simply gorgeous.
















Part way through the night, they had a male pole dancer doin' his thang - which was hot. The pics don't do him justice - but trust me - it was hot...








As people started heading home, a lot of time was spent in the foyer saying goodbyes... sad, teary, a little depressing... but shit, I was so trashed I forgot who had just left, and was ready for the next drink!

I inadvertently pissed Pauly off, cos his BF got stuck outside - can't really remember how the whole routine went, but basically his BF wasn't allowed back in cos he had too much to drink... I was trashed and wasn't planning on moving the whole group to another bar - so Pauly left....

At some stage, I think I just wandered off.. typical of me... once I get really trashed I tend to forget where I am, where I am going, and who I was with... so ended up at the Shift. Trashy place... so hung out there dancing like a crazy man for a few hours. Dove was there, Alan I think was too, Johnny might have been. The whole thing was a blur....

As spontaneously as I had arrived, I was off again. I think I was dancing, and just turned and walked out the door. Wandered around for an hour, trying to work out how to get home. Ended up walking as far as Pyrmont trying to get a goddamn cab - none... luckily someone was just getting home in a cab outside an apartment block just under Anzac Bridge, so my final leg to Rozelle was in comfort.

Crawled inside about 3.30, passed out. I was leaving for Melbourne in 15 hours....

The nightmare move from hell...

OK, so here's how it went... the move from hell.

Picked up the truck from Balmain Rentals at 9.30 in the morning. Arrived back at the Goldsbrough in time to collect security keys for the elevator. The Goldsbrough, being a hotel, are nazi's about use of the service elevator. You need to book it to be able to move in / out / get deliveries etc. So went to the counter to discover, the concierge had double booked the elevator with two other trucks that were refitting the hotel!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh! So we wasted an hour trying to sort out how to get it done. He finally decides we can share the lift with the other people... so the 2 hour load ended up taking 6 hours. Fucking nightmare. More to that, I spent two more days cleaning and running small loads in Paulys car... the whole move took 3 days. I have promised myself I will NEVER move myself ever again.

So anyway, Tuesday night, after day 1 of the nightmare move from hell... Pauly and I were aching for a drink, so headed into the city to meet up with his new beau at the Shift. After parking, we were walking up to Oxford Street when we saw this :

The bricks had collapsed from the top of this building and crashed through the glass awning... and onto a few cars... oh my god, got to love that Meriton quality!

Met his new man, Alan, had a few drinks, then went to City Extra at Circular Quay... for a seriously fattening fried seafood face-stuffing...

Will I ever learn?

So horribly hung over....


Went to Paul's company Christmas party last night... Crystal Bar @ GPO. Hot. Downstairs, off Martin Place. Sexy, funky, dark - my kinda place.
Party was fun, well as fun as work functions go... Open bar... bad news... I lost track of how many G&T's I had.





Spent the majority of the evening chatting with a couple of girls - who I embarrassingly thought were a couple... until they told me they were both straight... oops. They just kinda looked like lesbians... :op








So anyway, half way through the night, we discover that the DJ is... Alex Demitriades! Initially, I thought he was arrogant - a bit up himself... but had a good chat to him and he turned out to be really really nice. The photo I took doesn't do him justice... he is actually very sexy...






So after what was possibly 700 Gin and Tonics, I ended my night sprawled outside GPO emptying my evening out on the 140yo sandstone steps... disgusting. I NEVER throw up... maybe I am getting old and just can't hack it anymore...

Worst part was, Paul abandoned me some time during the night! He just up and vanished... leaving me to sort myself out... :o(

I was so trashed that I couldn't walk. I had no choice but to lay against the wall for about an hour until I had sobered just enough to stand up. Staggered home and passed out.

Will I ever learn?

Packing... Blaaah...

God, I hate packing... I have set myself a schedule :

Thursday/Friday - Living Room
Saturday - Kitchen
Sunday - Bedroom

Hopefully I can stick to that. Renting a truck for Tuesday. Recruited Alex, Paul and Dove to help me load up and unload at the storage place.

What I really need is a moving fairy. Someone that can pack, sort, load, unload. Anyone??? Hello??? Blaah... Guess I will just keep doing it myself.






Sorted out my clothes - it was long overdue. I ended up culling about 3/4 of my wardrobe... most of it was too big for me...





















It's weird to think that I fit into this stuff just 3 years ago. Crazy.... I did decide to keep these shorts - as a reminder... :o)

Necklace

Are wooden bead necklaces still OK to wear? I kinda thought it would be alright.... What do you think?

An Act of Contrition

3 weeks is a long time. 3 weeks is even longer when you think that things aren't going so well. Even though things had been resolved, there was something inside me saying that I needed to see Dean - now. Even though I had said I'm sorry over and over and over, I needed to do it face to face. I needed Dean to see how sorry I was, and how much I needed him. I was so scared that I was going to lose him, that I would have done anything to prove to him that I love him.

Finally I couldn't take it anymore... on Saturday I arranged with my friend Paul to drive to Melbourne. We could share the driving and be there by morning. Perfect. Paul's car is a 13yo Ford Festiva. I dubbed her 'Janome' - since it is more like a sewing machine than a car.

So 9pm, we headed off on our Road Trip. 4 Red Bulls and lots of music - the run was pretty good. Not very eventful, not even a hot hitch hiker.... oh well... I guess that only happens in porno's.







A few times during the night I spoke to Dean - he was out with his work colleagues having their Christmas party - and he was completely trashed... that was perfect, because he didn't question why Paul and I were driving at 3 in the morning...

About 5am, and about 100km north of Melbourne, it was time for a nap. Both of us were buggered and even though it was only 100km left... neither of us thought we could make it! So we pulled over at a truck parking area for a sleep.


Woke up about an hour later to a beautiful sunrise, fresh crisp air, and a strange desire to rip off all my clothes and run around in a paddock... can't really explain why, but it was just an urge. I didn't actually do it - maybe next time.




Arrived in Melbourne at 7.30. Way too early to be showing up at Dean's place. Knowing he crawled home at 3.30, it was better to leave him sleep for a little longer... So I took Paul to Brunswick St for a nice breakfast in a little Greek bakery (Can't remember what it was called!)
After that, we drove into the city and parked while I go on a hunt for some flowers.

Found a Florist where I bought a huge bunch of Oriental Lillies. So here's the plan...

* Drive to Dean's at 10am - that gave him 6 hours of sleep (enough I think!)
* Go to his front door, then call him : it would go something like this....
"Hi Baby, did the delivery come this morning?"
"What delivery?"
"Oh, I had something delivered for you this morning... I told them if no one answers, just leave it at the front door."
Then he would stagger downstairs to the door, open it and I would be standing there...

Well... I called... and called... and called... The little bugger had his phone on silent!

About 10.30 I had a moment. Whenever Dean is out with everyone, and they get trashed, Imma ALWAYS crashes at Deans house, and usually in his bed. I also thought that since Imma is Deans 2IC, if Dean isn't working, then there is a good chance Imma will be. So I sent Imma a message : "Hey Lady, I hope you are working today, and you are at Deans??... I am downstairs, so if you are there can you let me in?"

Next thing, Imma is letting me inside - totally dumbstruck. Not sure whether it was because she was half asleep, or whether it was the shock of me there...

So I snuck up to Deans room, he was sound asleep. I crept in, sat next to him on the bed and stroked his shoulder. I could already feel the emotion building. I was tired, and was scared, I just wanted everything to be OK.

He slowly rolled over and opened his eyes - I was looking down at him, a bit teary, but smiling. He looked up at me and... literally crapped himself. Ha ha ha. I will never forget that look - like he had seen a ghost. Then he just sat there with a quizzical look on his face, "What... what... aah... ummm... what... what...". I kissed him, and held him. I started crying. I just felt so relieved that I was there. I needed to say sorry to his face. I did that and I felt relieved.

We spent the day just hanging out, Dean, Paul, Andy and myself. We went out for Yum Cha, then wandered around the shops for a bit. Dean needed to find a vase for the flowers. Then we headed off to OutDVD in St Kilda to see if we could get Season 1 of Drawn Together - a weird ass animated series about cartoon characters in a reality TV show... no luck, out of stock. We stopped in at the Belgian Beer Garden for a couple of Stellas - nice place. Could become my favourite Summer hang out.

In the late afternoon Dean, Pauly and I went out to my mum's place. We decided to crash out there since it will be easier for us to leave from there in the morning. So had dinner, a few beers, and then it was off to bed early.

Morning came, and we said our goodbyes... the last goodbye, since the next time I see Dean, I will be moving to Melbourne. Yay!

The drive back was better than the drive down.
I guess because we could actually look at stuff along the way. Instead of just being dark the whole time.

It was hot and sunny - Janome has no aircon, but that was fine cos it meant the drive was done sans shirt and windows down. Noice....


Thanks Pauly for the use of Janome and also for coming with me to share the driving... couldn't have done it without you. xxx

All in all.... an exhausting and emotional trip for me - but something I really needed to do. I think it made everything perfect again.

Funny...

To Deserve You

I see so many golden women;
When they walk their feet don’t touch the ground.
How I want, how I want to deserve you.
But me, I’m always out of rhythm.
My needs too demanding, too proud.
How I want, how I want to deserve you.

I didn’t want you to see me like this.
The light of the dawn can be cruel.
How I want, how I want to deserve you.
And if I could be granted a wish,
I’d shine in your eye like a jewel.
How I want to deserve you.

I would die for you.
Could you ever love me that much?
How I want, how I want to deserve you.
Yes, you tell me this,
And I want to believe that it’s true.
Aah, how I want, how I want to deserve you.

I didn’t want you to see me like this.
I’m weak and I fight like a fool.
How I want, how I want to deserve you.
And if I could be granted a wish,
I’d shine in your eye like a jewel.
How I want to deserve you.

If I could be your angel
I’d trade in my arms for some wings
To keep you close to me.
And if I could trade my voice
For the silence I know that you need.
How I want, how I want to deserve you.

I didn’t want you to see me like this.
So frightened of losing so soon.
How I want, how I want to deserve you.
And if I’ve caught our love in a grip,
Just tell me and I’ll shake it loose.
How I want to deserve you.

- To Deserve You : Bette Midler

5 day catch up... :o)

What a week...

Dean and I went to Kylie on Thursday night (23/11) It was an awesome show. We had a great spot too - just off the floor to the left of the stage and only a few rows back... so great view. I met Dean at work (he was at the Oxford St store for the day) and one of the guys gave us his Land Cruiser for the night to use to get out to Olympic Park. Thanks Costa :) So, we left AG Oxford St at 6.20 - with an ETA of 7... plenty of time to hang out, have a drink, get excited etc... Well... 7pm came and went, and we were still trying to get out of the fucking city! So it was a race against time - oh and petrol... turned out we were running a huge bloody 4WD on less than an 8th of a tank... still a few KM's away and the orange fuel warning light was on.... finally we made it, park as far away from Acer Arena as we could.... the short walk would be nice, and means no frantic traffic getting out afterwards.

Show was spectacular. Kylie was amazing, costumes were stunning, the male dancers were.... ahem... HOT... so hot that at one stage I think Dean was actually stuck to his seat... and I don't mean 'riveted'...

At intermission, we were leaving our seats to stretch, and the chick sitting next to us says "Are one of you guys Brad?" Creepy.... I was looking like

So afterwards, we headed back into the city, and did a bit of a bar crawl - Colombian, Stonewall, (tried Manacle, but it was closed???) then finished the night at Arq. Great night....

Friday night met up with Andy, Dionne and her new man for dinner and drinks. Ended up at the Imperial - very trashed, I got into a bit of a fight with some wankers sitting behind us... but it was all calmed down fairly quickly. Dean was not impressed at all... let's just say, the makeup sex was incredible... :)

Saturday morning was beautiful - sunny, hot, perfect to go.... Snorkeling! Dean had never been snorkeling before, so we stopped in at Rebel and picked him up some new snorkel gear. Then made the mad dash home to get mine and try and make the bus in the city... bugger... we watched it turn the corner at the end of the street and it was gone... missed it by 1 minute. So we cabbed it.... mhmm...
The day was wonderful. Everything was perfect. Clovelly is a perfect beach to learn to snorkel. Protected, calm, heaps of fish and stuff to look at.

Sunday we were both a little burnt, and feeling a little sun-stroked...

Monday was Deans last day. Time flies... The goodbye was a little easier this time around. Mainly because we both knew it was the last time we would have to say goodbye. The next time we saw each other, I would be living in Melbourne!

11 day catch up

OK, so I have failed to keep up with my blogging responsibilities... slack, slack, slack. Of course there is a perfectly good explanation...

The past two weeks have been spent in Melbourne. It was originally only for 5 days to Monday November 13, but stretched out another week to November 20.

Dean picked me up from the flight, again it was wonderful to be with him again.

Friday was a trip to Geelong with my mum to visit my new niece, Ava Grace, who I still had not seen... she was adorable, as expected. The whole time she gurgled and giggled... so cute. The only time she cried was when I was leaving, and I can understand that...

Got back to mums about 5, hung out there for a bit, had a beer and chatted. Took off back to the city to meet my man.

Saturday was the drive to Albury for my nephew Justin's 16th birthday... early start, long 3 1/2 hour drive in the heat. Not so bad I guess, but the road is just one LONG straight run. Makes for a fairly dull trip. But it was nice to be out driving the highway :o)

Hung out for the family BBQ, which was sweet. Ben and Nick were both eager to show off their prowess on their electric guitars - so I was treated to a cavalcade of solo performances ranging from wolf whistles (mhmm!) to the classics.

Unfortunately Justin's friends (the 20 or so teenage boys coming for his birthday) weren't arriving until after 4 - which was when I had to be on my way back to Melbourne... :o( Certainly Dean was happy about that... :op

So drove the 3 1/2 hours back again....

Sunday was Park Drive Day! A day of good food, drink, and other (ahem) party things... all in the company of gorgeous people in stunning outfits. The guys looked hot, the girls - sexy.

Monday was supposed to be my flight home... After breakfast, feeling somewhat flat from the night before and depressed about leaving, it was discussed that I would stay - preferably indefinitely, but for now... just a few more days. So a lengthy call to Alex set up a stay until Wednesday, nope, Thursday, oh, maybe Friday.... OK, Saturday - alright, Sunday, but thats it... In the end after a small oversight, it was Monday. But hey I wasn't complaining! More time with my man!!!

So back to the story.

Wednesday night... Time for Dean to meet... my MUM! The drive out to my mums was funny. Dean was definitely nervous - I told him he had absolutely nothing to worry about.. but I understand what it's like, so he just had to wait and see.

We arrive at mum's place in Mill Park, and I realise we had forgotten to get a bottle of wine on the way, so I suggest we go in and then I will duck out and get something. Dean leans across the seat, grabs my arm and with a look of absolute horror "You are not to leave me... do you understand????" Ha, ha, ha... How could I with that look .. poor boy... ha ha ha ha.

So in the front door, and I am sure he was at ease straight away. My mum is great. Very welcoming, funny, and I think she had already had a glass or two before we got there... mhmm.... do we know where I get it from now???

So we hung out in the kitchen having a couple of drinks while mum finished some prep on dinner, Russell talked about his computers, oh and how great Melbourne is....

So over dinner, lots more talking. And the same as when I watched Dean talking to Andy and Drew the month before - he blended perfectly.

After dinner - and a few more wines we adjourned to the living room to continue the goss. All of a sudden, they bring out a DVD... "Puppetry of the Penis"... OK, so when did this evening take a turn into the Twilight Zone??? Watched and laughed for a bit, Dean excused himself, left the room for a minute, which turned out to be a call to his best friend Pauline - "Oh my God, I am at Brad's Mum's place - I'm trashed, and we're watching Puppetry of the Penis!" Hmmm, so I will take that as a thing of exclamation... not sheer horror and disgust.... :op I have to admit though, it was all a bit surreal... I ended up asking we turn it off... As fun as it was, sitting down with my mother and boyfriend watching two (unattractive) men making shapes out of their....

Anyway, the evening eventually came to an end. Said our byes, and drove home. It was a great night.

So Thursday received the call from my Mum "We love him. He is just great Brad." Thing is, I knew she would love him. I had no doubts whatsoever. She would love him, cos he is an amazing guy...

Saturday night we went to Pauline and Joel's place for a BBQ / party thing. Lots of fun. Headed to 161... Love it there. Can see why Dean raves about it. Sexy, great people, music. Definitely an eventful night... let's leave it there...

Sunday Dean was at work again... It was funny actually, cos most of the time I was there, Dean had to work. And it was all good. It gave us both time to see how things will be when I am living down there. No more having to try and keep each other entertained like we have been doing in the past. It made everything just seem normal - and that was great.

Mum and Russell were came in later in the afternoon to meet up with us for a drink.
I took them to Hairy Canary while we waited for Dean to finish work. Quite an experience for them I think...

1. There is more to beer than VB and Carlton Draught...
2. Tapas are not small nails...
3. Shittake are a type of mushroom.... and with roast duck - make perfect Pizza toppings...

So after a couple of beers and sharing 2 bottles of wine, mum was sufficiently inebriated to break into her "World's Proudest Mum of a Gay Son" routine. It's really sweet. Always happy to proclaim how she loves me, and loves me gay, and "whether its a guy and a girl, two guys, or two girls... love is love... and it's beautiful"

So after that, said goodbye, got a lift home - with a quick stop off at the bottle shop for another red - then home we went. went straight to bed, too trashed, crashed...

Monday was going home day... :o( Best thing was, we got to spend 11 days together. Our longest time together ever. Even better was the fact that in 2 days - Dean was coming up to Sydney! Yay!
I hung around at the shop for the morning, then made my way home... Tram, Coach, Plane, Train, Monorail. It was strange, it was the first time either of us had to arrive or depart without the other there. But it's all good. Dean had to work, and really, this whole trip was about us functioning like a normal couple with normal daily stuff to do. And I loved every minute of it.

A&F Jeans

I want these jeans... but somehow I don't think I will look quite as good in them...

The list goes on...

Why am i so scared all the time? I mean, not scared... insecure...

I need to learn not to be so worried all the time. The littlest difference in voice and I worry that something is wrong. Not just voice... but I just get 'the feeling'... I have always trusted my gut instinct, it has never let me down...

So at home tonight. PJ is here, we were gonna go out, but decided to hang at home, drink beer and listen to Robbies new album.

Feeling a bit down anyway, so probably not so much fun out.

2 days 19 hours until I see him. Feels so excruciatingly far away...

Are we going to be OK? I am always worrying, and you know why??? Cos he is so beautiful. I worry why he wants me. I worry about obviously the abundance of seriously beautiful guys in Melbourne that he could have. I worry about the amount of times he gets cruised... and I'm not there. It's so easy to weigh up options between a hot guy who lives in your city, and a guy who lives 1200kms away that you only see every few weeks.

I mean, who would choose this option?? Well, of course - I did. I could not ask for a more amazing boyfriend. Dean is the most beautiful guy I have ever dated. He is simply stunning, intelligent, funny, mature, sexy, handsome, the list goes on...

Kylie - Take II

OK, OK, OK.... I know I posted Kylie already, but browsing some hot gay porn blogs. (Not telling which ones...) I found this.... even hotter than the last one i posted.

Axl Whitehead...

Hmmm, this is what got Axl sacked. I don't personally see what the 'big' deal is... ha ha ha I was disappointed actually...

U Bar / Kylie

Friday night was Sarah's farewell drinks at U Bar. U Bar is behind V Bar... as one would expect. Umm, actually U Bar should be before V Bar. Anyway...

Everyone was already pretty well lubricated... especially Sarah - she's funny when she is drunk... very flirty, very loud, and totally in your face. She's a riot.

Sarah

Caught up with lots of people. Glad to see Phil... she's so sweet. Always chirpy, lots of fun to hang out with.


Phil

Nick - Phil's boyfriend. It's OK Phil, you can keep him :o)

Me Phil and Nick

The gang

Fun...

So I also found this great ad in the street for Vogue. Kylie is the special guest editor this month. How hot does she look!! Got to go buy this today....

Blessing or Burdon....

Wednesday, worked with AJ at his place. Always exhausting... that man can talk underwater. Always leave there feeling drained. Most of the time I struggle to keep up with him - I swear sometimes I feel the words dribbling back out my ears when I can't hold anymore of them in.

Caught up with Tony, Bazz and their friend Brad - Roast Lamb dinner, a nice red, and 5 hours in front of Tony's computer... the purpose this night was to fix it... some Symantec installation gone bad, and so PC wouldn't work anymore. Bloody Nortons...

So ended up crashing there since it was late, and we had all had a few wines, so best to get a lift in the morning.

Home for the day, getting some graphics finished for the updates to our site. Almost done....

So my ex Mike popped over Thursday evening. The boy rings and says he is having problems with his notebook. "Its running really slow... I don't know whats wrong with it! Want me to pay you?" "No need to pay me. Bring it over, I will have a look for you... Actually... you can bring some beer if you like... :o)"

Wondering whether my penchant for anything I.T. is a blessing or a burden.... I guess it is a blessing cos it gives me a chance to catch up with people... but shouldn't they want to catch up any other time?? Hmmm... well, I can fix em, and that's what friends are for! At least I got dinner one night, and beer the next :o)

So anyway, Mike arrives with his notebook, and a six pack of TED's... noice...

As soon as he handed me the 'puter, I already had a fair idea of what was wrong with it... it had to be atleast 6 years old... the thing was designed for Windows 98... So I turn it on, and it takes a couple of minutes to get started... nothing out of the ordinary for a 6yo computer. Check it out... theres nothing wrong with it! In fact, there weren't even any programs on it! It was a clean install. The sluggishness was purely to do with it being an old computer.

"Dude, Your notebook is slow cos it's old. Nothing I do is going to fix that. It's always going to be old."

Nice, so rest of the evening was just chatting, and catching up on old times. Mike worked at Hayman Island for the past year or so. So he had plenty of stories to tell about what the staff get up to up there... Interesting stuff... But shan't say anymore.



Good times....

Goove Thang...

So Tuesday, Dove and I went to see Priscilla The Musical. It was great fun. Had heard differing reviews from a few people, some hated it, some loved it. I thought it was great... some parts were a bit tacky, some a bit slow - but overall a lot of fun.

Before the show, we sat outside and had a beer, watching the parade of trannies, grannies, the highly excitable and often squeally gay boys, the curious fag-hag-wannabe 40-something woman with obedient hubby in tow.

Show time... We had third row, so we had a great view. And what a view it was... hot sexy boys in next to nothing dancing and simulating feverishly hot sex (all part of the dance routine of course) right in front of us.... mmmmmm. Flesh.. butts... and amazing abs as far as the eye could see. ***Sigh...***

Two Words ....

Does anyone really think that I should only post the nicest, fluffiest, happiest moments of my life here? Not every day is fantastic. Not every day is bad. Chores are chores, and I'm sorry if my lack of sheer pleasure during such chores is offensive to some people.

This is where I put my thoughts. If you don't like it - easily fixed... don't read it.

Love Joe Phillips ....

Hot Trailer.... Gotta love Joe Phillips stuff!

Warning : It's a bit naughty... :op

Comics, Beer, 'Finger' Food and Babies

So my little sister Kim arrived Thursday afternoon. Kim was staying with me so she could go to a Pop Culture Expo (I know now that it's NOT a comic convention - sorry Kim!), Supanova. So Thursday night was all about catching up. Lots of talking etc. Friday wandered around the city for a bit, had some lunch, then met up with Kim's friend Robin - guy she was going to Supanova with. Sent them on their way to the preview evening and met up with Craig.
Went to the Light Brigade Hotel at Paddington. Just hung out having a few, chatting, watching the crowd. Very mixed here. Stuffy suits, blokey workmen, a couple of old fellas who would have looked more at home at the TAB (stubbies shorts, unshaven, grey hair, and a 'roll-your-own' ciggy hanging off their lip).

Left there to find dinner - nothing open. So it was a trip to the supermarket. We decided on having a finger food night. Not what you would expect though... Finger food, as in Chicken fingers and vegetable fingers. (kinda like fish fingers). Throw all 18 of them in the oven - done. Dinner is served! Mmmmmm.

Spilled wine on my A & F shorts, so spent a couple of hours running around in my white jocks... please... like it's the first time... ha!

Shane called and said he was on the date from hell and that he was bailing. So he dropped around with a bottle of something bubbly. We all sat outside on the balcony chatting. Weather was balmy, slight breeze, perfect.

As suddenly as Shane had appeared, he was off again. Obviously trashed, the boy just goes "OK, bye!" And he was out the door.

I headed off about 11.30 - fully intending to go home. Until I get a message from Drew, Andy's BF. "Oh My God I'm trashed...I love you babe. I'm at the Green Park Hotel." OK, so obviously this message was meant for Andy - but it was enough to convince me to head there before home. Part worried he was too trashed and part interested in staying out myself. Ha ha ha. Arrived to see Drew and two girlfriends totally wasted.


Feeling the effects of alcohol, and what I later found out was a couple of big fat lines of C." I was offered some, but all of a sudden : "Oh Fuck - It's gone!" Picture this... three trashed girls (yes Drew included) crawling around on the floor of a crowded pub, looking for a little plastic bag full of very expensive white powder... well, not really funny, but it kind of was at the time. :o)

So anyway, staggered out of there about 2.30. Definitely had enough.

Saturday, Craig bought a new Toshiba notebook, so he brought it around to charge it and start playing with it. We went out and had some lunch, wandering around Harbourside perving on the hundreds of cute boys - there for the Car Show... God, love it when the car show is on. Mmmm...

Kim and Robin got back about 6ish - hung out and watched DVDs. After the 3 hours sleep last night, I needed a quiet one.

Sunday, Met Dove for lunch at Scruffy Murphy's - $5 lunch and beer. This bar is great. It smells, its loud and crazy - always full of Irish backpackers. All drunk, singing... Good Times.



This totally rooted Scottish guy comes to our table, well, staggered to our table and proceeded to chat up Dove... Slurring, stinking, holding himself up using anything more stable than himself - chairs, railings, imaginary people...

So headed back home and hung out with Kim and Robin, talking about Stuff, Love, Dean, Babies... :o)

Monday took Kim to the station. And the rest of the day? Recovery...

Dreamy Days

It was a cab to the airport this time. I was so worried I was going to be late or Deans flight would be early, that I thought it was a good idea to cab it - and I was right. Arriving at terminal 3, Flight 490 had already landed. . . shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. So I semi-ran to the gate (Wedon't run. . .), and luckily, they hadn't disembarked yet. Phew. A few minutes to calm down. . .

A few days ago he asked me what I will do when I see him. I told him that I was going to hug him and kiss him when he arrived. . . and that's what I did. I so didn't want to let go of him. The past few weeks separated have been hell.

We walked out of the airport arms around each other the whole time. Funnily, dressed the same. . . Grey Sweater, Blue Jeans, white tigers. We are so in sync. . :o)

Cabbed it home for some 'us' time. The trip home was sweet, I couldn't stop touching him, holding him, kissing his hand and nuzzling up to him. God, I missed him so much.

Then wandered into Chinatown for some (very late) dinner.
Couldn't believe it, half way through dinner, the dude that works in the restaurant actually asked me to get up and move my chair. . . So I'm standing there, totally stunned, holding my chair. No idea why he asked, until suddenly he is rolling up the carpet I had previously been sitting on . . . oh-my-god. Dean and I were speechless. The other diners were shocked and giggling, even the manager at the counter hollered something at him too. . .

Apart from that dinner was nice. :o) I love how we always have plenty to talk about, but even when we don't, I feel so comfortable with the lulls and quiet times. Normally people feel uncomfortable when you don't have anything to say, but for some reason, I don't think that happens to us.

So after dinner, we wandered around a bit to walk off the late night meal.

The great thing about this trip, was that we didn't feel like we needed to have things planned to do. We wanted it to be normal, as if we saw each other all the time, lived int he same city etc. I think the demands on keeping each other entertained detract from the real reason we are here - just to be with each other.

Tuesday, breakfast at Nick's on Cockle Bay Wharf - classy. . . plastic cups for our orange juice, and one full of salt, pepper and sugar sachets. . . Gotta Love Sydney. . . So after our nice brekky, we walked all over the city and around The Rocks. Ended up at the stairs onto the harbour bridge, so we decided to walk across the bridge with a stop off to walk up the southern pylon.

At the top we stood outside on the viewing platform for ages, just looking around, cuddling. No one seemed to mind us 'canoodling' in the corner, so that was sweet.
Then we finished the walk over the bridge into Kirribilli, bought donuts and got the train back to the city. Then off to Woolloomooloo where we sat out in the courtyard of the Tilbury Hotel (my favourite Sunday lunch place) and shared a bottle of wine in the sun, while we just chatted about anything and everything. Nice. . .

Feeling happily tipsy, we walked home via Oxford Street with Deans usual visit to the Newsagent looking for more magazines with Janet on the cover. . . :op

Meat & Wine co - dinner. Then Market City and saw "Children of Men" - great but thoroughly depressing. . . it's a movie about what happens when all the women in the world become infertile. . . The whole movie made extremes of current issues - Viral Pandemics, Middle East Conflict, loss of freedom under the guise of Anti-Terrorism laws. . . all very scarey, very graphic, and so very real but still a bloody brilliant film.

Wednesday was a late starter. we lazed around having 'us time' ha ha ha . . . always hot baby. . . .

We headed off to EQ to meet Craig. Had lunch at The Fox & Lion. Wandered around the markets. After lunch, walked all the way back to home, again via Oxford Street. Dean was sure there could be new mags out that he didn't find the day before. . so another visit to the Oxford Street Newsagent was in order.

We were going to go to Imax to see Ant Bully in Imax 3D, but decided to stay at home and have hot sex. mmmmmm. . . . . Always prefer 'Dean in 3D' over anything else.

So afterwards, we had just a couple of hours left. . . so we packed up all of Deans things, and headed into the city. Scoffed some KFC (Naughty but oh so nice!!) We were supposed to meet Dove for a quick bevvie before heading to the airport, but a quick check of the ticket and we discovered that his flight was 30 minutes earlier than we thought. . . . so then it was a rush to airport. . .

The Airport. . . . . .
Oh my god. I swear this is getting harder to do. Saying Good Bye. . . this time I couldn't hold back in front of Dean. I was so upset that he was leaving. I couldn't pretend that it was all OK. I was down. I felt like absolute shit. I love this guy. I didn't want him to go. I was hating the moment. I wanted to burst out crying and tell him that I didn't want him to leave.

We cuddled and kissed, until his flight was called. We continued until the last possible moment, when everyone else was on or almost on the plane. Oh my God, I so feel incredibly comfortable around Dean. I had no issues kissing him and cuddling him in front of everyone - even the nasty, unattractive western suburbs type creatures that were standing near us. I was prepared to lunge at them with a vicious attack of words and fists, so ready to defend us. :op

So anyway, as he walked through the gate, one last longing glance, like a puppy locked outside the back screen door. . . . whimpering included. . . he was gone. This time I didn't wait until I was outside. I burst into tears there at the gate. Who says it gets easier?? Huh?? Fucker. Obviously someone who doesn't know anything about love.
So I walked out all red eyed and teary. Got the train home. Arrived at home to an empty home. What can i say. The pain in my heart was horrible. I really felt alone.

Rough Bitch

So Saturday morning, we picked up a ute. . . to move Craig's gym which has been sitting on my floor for 2 months (yes the one I broke my toe on... bitch). So we waited in queue at the rental place. . . luckily there was the hottest blonde guy wearing next to nothing standing near us. Flexing his bod and looking terribly sexy. . . it's OK baby, you are sexy too. . . :o)

Anyway, so after picking up the ute, we headed off for brekky, and then to my house to get that fucker of a gym out of my place. Thank God thats gone.



Then dropped that off and then to Moore Park Super Centre to find Craig a floor lamp. Honestly, what has happened to my life, when my weekend has gone this way. . . thing is, if it was with Dean, and we were looking for stuff for our home, it would be great. . . I honestly dream about that. I mean, shopping for stuff for our home. . . :o)

So after all that was done, went to Watershed for lunch and a few beers, note boy with nice butt crack sticking out the top of his jeans. . . mhmm. . . . (your butt crack is sexier baby)

Sunday : Spent the day hanging out at home. Very lazy. Spoke to Craig in the afternoon, and we decided to meet in the city for a bevvy or two. Went to Three Wise Monkeys on George Street. drank heaps. Problem is they have Pints there instead of Schooners. So drank more than usual. Trashed.



We proceeded to stagger around the city, Oxford Street. Drinking, squealing, we were not allowed into Kinselas. . . too drunk. . . staggered everywhere we could. Eventually I am not sure why, but I hailed a cab,Craig thinking we were going somewhere gets in, so i close the door and walk away. ha ha ha ha. . . . no idea why i did that, but now it seems quite funny. . . .

So Monday was spent being terribly hung over. just in time for full day recovery before Dean arrived. . . . .

Police School Reject

So, today, I was told I was not welcome to go back to JB HiFi, Galeries Victoria in the city. This came from the hugely overweight, highly underachieving security guard at the door.

I had gone to JB to fill in 20 minutes while I was waiting for friends to have lunch (as does everyone). iPod on, man bag strung over my bod, looking through accessories, then making my way to the CD section, when the phone rings - it was my baby. Reception isn't so great down there, so I walked back outside to finish my call. One headphone in on one ear, phone on the other. Walking through security, the security guard was looking at me, saying something. I had no idea, since I choose to pretend they don't actually exist. . . but I think he was asking to check my bag. . .

Security : "Sir, may I check your bag?"
Brad : (Roll of the eyes. . .) "Umm, yeah, I don't think so. . . ."
Security : "I'm sorry sir, I need to check your bag"
Brad: "Like hell you do."
Security : "Store Policy, yadda, yadda, yadda. . . "

At this point, I was forced to interrupt my conversation with Dean. . . . doing that obviously pissing me off. . . . So I walked back to the security guard. . . .

Brad : "Mate, I don't care, I know by law I don't have to show you shit. And besides, I believe by law you should not even be asking to look in a bag this small. (8"x10")"

Security : "Well you are not welcome back in this store"
Brad : (At this point I walk away feeling very pleased with myself. . . oh yeah, with middle finger extended. . .) "Like I give a shit. . . ."

I am almost tempted to go back tomorrow just to see if they remember me. . . . hahahahahah

Ah, good times. . . .

So, after that went and had lunch with the guys and girls from my old work. A couple of beers and a burger at Equilibrium. Noice. . . .

Then it was off home. Had arranged with my friends Johnny, Pauly, James and James' friend Paul to meet at Hyde Park to enjoy the final night of the Noodle Markets. As usual, my friend Pauly was a no show. . . Spoke at 5.10pm "Yeah I am jumping in the shower now". . . then absolutely nothing for the remainder of the night. No answer to calls, no reply to messages. Hmmm, who's getting tired of unreliable friends. . .

So anyway, got there, and it had been canceled due to the electrical storms we had earlier in the afternoon. :o(

So we all (sans Pauly) decide to head up to Slide for a few cocktails, then off to Don Don for some Japanese. Stuffed, I crawled home.

That's it for today. It's been fun.

Alias Season 4 Intro - Hot!

2am

and I can't sleep . . . . too much Coke Zero and Jelly Babies. . . . :o(

Sucker for punishment.. . .

So after spending the whole day laying on the couch eating (best thing when you're sick!) I was hit by the worst case of cabin fever ever. . . . and in traditional perfect timing style - Andy rings to see if I want to come out for a few drinks. . . yay! So I popped 4 Codral and took off to Newtown!

Fun night, lots of laughs. Always good to catch up with Andy and Drew. Hamish came out too, which was great, cos I see even less of him than I do A&D. So we all hung out drinking at the Newtown Hotel, making bitchy comments about some of the unfortunate people there (Hamish definitely gets the gong for that - his venom can strike the unsuspecting at 50 feet).

Andy looking shocked to find he was actually in a gay bar. . . .


Me and Drew


So when it closed, we staggered down the the Impy, hung out there with a larger group of even more unfortunate looking people. Andy and Drew took off home in their usual style . . heading for the door as discretely as possible "Oh, umm, we're going now. bye."

Hamish and I stayed on longer - I tried to do the Cupid thing and introduced myself to some guy that Hamish fancied, so that I could get them talking. Once they started, I wandered away and left them to it. Next thing I know, Hamish is MIA. Shit, now its just me. So I wandered for about 15 minutes, then took off.

Woke up at 10.30 this morning. In time to install new Windows Vista on my desktop 'puter. I got the pre-release version which will expire in 7 months - which is enough time to test it out etc. Have to say, the new windows is hot. Looks great. Never thought I would admit to liking something from MS. . . but there you go.

Then went out to meet Raymond for lunch. Went to a little Japanese noodle place near Market City - which I never even knew was there. Always the best places are those little tucked away joints that no one knows about.

After that we went outside and it was raining. Miserable. How the fuck does that work? Yesterday, 38 degrees - today, 18. No wonder I am sick.

So we decided to go to the movies, since there is nothing much else to do on days like this. So we went and saw "The Covenant". Great movie, kinda cross between Supernatural and the OC I guess. . . Best part is the lead character. . . damn hot.
There is even a sexy shower / change room scene, which had me sticking to my seat. . . .

After that, came home and chilled for the rest of the evening. I just know that ain't gonna help my flu :o)

Somebody make me soup. . . . please?

So after shower and preparing to head off for noodles and beer last night, I was struck down (almost instantly) by a flu. . . must have been hiding out waiting for the right time to pounce. Felt crappy and ended up laying on the couch until 11, then went to bed.

Woke up at 1.30 to noisy asshole neighbours. . . banged on the wall and told them to "Shut the fuck up!". Instant peace and quiet. Perfect. Drank a litre of water and some panadols, straight back to sleep.

Woke up this monring to a full on flu. Sore all over, headache, blaaaah. . . . I hate being sick. Especially when my man is 1200km away. I am a big whimp and need to be taken care of when I'm ill. Who will mop my brow and make me soup?????

I opened the balcony door and all my windows to let some "cool" breeze through. Can you believe it was fucking 32degrees at 10am this morning!! We are expecting 38 today - normally on a day like this I would be :

1. In the pub or
2. At the movies or
3. Swimming

Or all of the above.

But since I am sick, I get to lay on my couch. Blaaah. . . .

Another perfect day. . . .

Stunning day - 35 degrees. . . not a cloud in the sky. . . Could I honestly let this one get away without a few hours at the beach?

Went to monorail station at 10, waited for 15 minutes. . . supposed to be every 3 to 5 minutes. Asked the chick at the counter what the delay was and she said one of them had broken down. Nice of her to let everyone know there was going to be a delay. So I asked for my money back - the scrag gave me back 4.20 - (the fare is 4.50) - "Whats this? The fare is 4.50!" "There is a refund fee of 30c" "Ha! Like hell there is! I want the full 4.50 back! You can't keep a refund fee since you have been unable to provide the service for which I had paid!" I made sure I said it loud enough for everyone else to hear - ha ha ha so she gave me (or should I say, threw me) the extra 30c. "You should tell people there is a problem BEFORE they pay and enter, saves wasting everyones time."

Hee. . . best part was, I have a monorail card, so the trips are only 2 bucks anyway. hahahah so I got an extra 2.50 back :o)

So anyways, walked into the city (I was only getting the monorail to save time). And got up to the bus stop for the 324 to Watson's Bay. Damn, it had just left the stop and was at the lights, about to turn left. So I started running to the next stop further down Park St. Made it. Damn, bus doesn't stop here. Looked further down the street to the next stop. Another block, a set of lights, and half way down the next block. . . . I looked back. Bus is about to turn the corner. . . .

So I keep running, through the traffic queued at the lights, and keep running. Lucky, the bus had to stop at the lights again. . . made it to the stop, turned and the bus was just arriving. Phew! Then came the 45 minute bus trip. . . God I need a car. . . .

I really like to "get back to nature", so if I am going to the beach alone, I go to Lady Bay just past Watson's Bay. It's a place where you can be free. . . yeah, a nude beach. I'm not into the perving and cruising that happens there, that all happens down the right side of the beach, and around the rocks. I go around the left and up and over other rocks, where its quite private and quiet.

Watson's Bay is so beautiful. It's away from the city, the noise, the people. Best place to go to relax.





Unfortunately, about 2 1/2 hours into my sunbaking, a group of lecherous old goats decided to turn my peaceful spot into a drool fest. Yech. . . I coped for about 15 minutes, while they ogled and carried on. . . gave them an eyeful, then left. If they were after a perve, they should have gone to the other side. Everyone knows that.

Eyeful . . .


So left there, went to the 'normal' beach and had a quick swim there. Then made the awful 45 minute bus trip back to the city.

All over now. . . home, relaxing, watching The Da Vinci Code.

Might go back to the noodle markets tonight, since it will be such a beautiful evening. . . . maybe finish it off with a few drinks at Colombian. . . maybe. . . .

Changed my mind. . . don't feel like going to the noodle markets tonight. I have work to do anyway.


Mood : Anxious

Oodles of Noodles. . . .

OK, so went to the Night Noodle Markets in Hyde Park last night. So many people, music, lots of food stalls, all from different Asian restaurants. There were also a couple of bars represented from King Street Wharf.



My dinner :
Sai Grog Tod (fried pork sausage)
Khao Neeo Tod (fried sticky rice)
Som Tum (green papaya salad)
Gai San Choi Bau (Stirfry Chicken, mushrooms etc wrapped in lettuce leaf)

Washed down with a couple of James Squire's Golden Ales. . . . mmmmmm







Going again tonight. . . . :o)

The weekend is a blur. . . .

Talk about too much boozin' over the weekend :

Friday afternoon, Johnny and Dove came for a visit. Drank too much, music, talking, laughing - all good. So trashed, I don't even recall Johnny leaving . . . only a message the next morning "I hope you are OK." Oops. Cue familiar anxiety attack . . . oh my God, what did I do. . . did I embarrass myself? Blaaah. . . everyone was drunk so who cares :op

Saturday night, friend MK came over for a few drinks. Nice to catch up, hadn't seen him in a while. He has just moved back down from Hayman Island. . . why anyone would leave a paradise like that for this hell hole. . .

Sunday night, CW and I decided to do a Cosmo night at his new pad in Centennial Park. Nice apartment, absolutely stunning view of the city.

After a few drinks and snacks at the Fox & Lion at EQ, headed back to CWs place to commence what has become a bit of a Cosmo Indulgence Ritual. . .

The rest is a blur. I don't think it requires any further comment, apart from : I was fucked. Absolutely and totally. No denial there. Who the hell invented this evil potion?

Monday thus became a total right off, completely buggered.

Tuesday, my friend Minh turned up. Just one bottle of wine, lots of chat, and lots of TV watching. Good to have a quiet one after such a messy weekend, though.

Where have I been ???? Part 2

OK, so where were we. . . .

SO since we didn't have time to do the monastery, we decided to go stright to my sisters house. This was going to be the first of my family Dean was going to meet. . . personally I don't know if he was nervous at all . . . but I was :op

So we spent the evening hanging out with them (Sister Vickie, Husband Mark, and my nieces, Jade & Hayley) - it took all of 5 minutes for the girls to be all over Dean . . . which doesn't suprise me, since I am always all over him. . . hahahah

We went out the backyard and played touch footy with them - but Dean didn't want to play, just stand on the sideline being a (relatively) impartial line judge. I really thought he would have favoured me in all calls. . . but nope, bastard. . . I got no special treatment at all. . . .

Pretty Hat. . . . .

So after that, we went back inside and Dean played on the computer with Jade. Hayley hung off me. . . literally. . . she wouldn't leave me alone :op Can't blame her really. . . . she loves her Uncle :o)

After that we had a bite to eat, then took off back to the big bright city.

The whole day was simply perfect.

Monday was spent laying around. . . it was another stunning Sydney Spring day. . . beautiful blue sky, sunny and warm. We couldn't decide what to do (again. . . .) but we eventually went to Victoria Park to the swimming pool. Laid on the grass together and talked - normally I would do alot of perving on the speedo clad hotties sunbaking or posing. . . but honestly, with a boy as sexy as Dean right next to me. . . there was no one else I wanted to perve on.
After a cool off swim and throwing each other around in the water (well actually I was throwing Dean around. . .) we changed and headed to Coles to get some picnic foods. We had decided to go to Centennial Park for a late afternoon picnic.

We got to the park just as it started getting really windy and a little cooler, so we found a spot well protected from the wind by lots of bamboo type plants. Spread out the picnic blanket and proceeded to nibble on Chicken, bread, Thai noodle salad and semi-dried tomatoes - washing it down with a nice bottle of white wine. After eating, we laid together on the blanket and snuggled, tickled, talked, again, another perfect time together. It was all so perfect and I was so happy. . . seriously in love here. . . . .

After our picnic we made our way over to Kuletos in Newtown to meet up with my best friend Andy and his boyfriend Drew. After a few cocktails and stories about how awesome Sleaze was (like we appreciated the torment. . .), we took off to Broadway to watch 'The Devil Wears Prada'. Oh my God, it was such a great movie. . . and Meryl Streep was amazing. Within the first 3 minutes Dean and I were looking at each other going "I fucking love her. . . ."

Tuesday. . . our last 24 hours. . . .

We decided Tuesday was going to be easy, with no pressure on making decisions. We went to Bondi Westfields to look at some shops, wander around, arm in arm. Of course a trip to Sydney - especially Bondi - would not be complete without a visit to the Onitsuka Tiger Store . . . where I got my first pair of Tigers. . . thanks baby :o) I can see now why he loves them so much. I could easily wear these every day. . . who knows, sometime in the near future I may have a collection to rival his!

Tuesday night was a fairly solemn affair. . . . knowing that he was leaving the next morning made me so sad. I didn't make it too obvious, since I hated the thought of wallowing on our last night together . . .

Wednesday morning, 5.30am - time to get up and get moving. The final 1 hour countdown was almost painful. I wanted him to stay. So badly that it hurt inside. We walked to the departure gate and sat together, talked, kissed, cuddled. When boarding time arrived, I stood with him in queue for only a few minutes - when I couldn't take it anymore. I was so close to bursting into tears that I had to leave. I said my goodbyes, to a shocked Dean. . . turned and left. I held it in all the way back to the car, got in, closed the door, and let it all out.

10 minutes and I was missing him already.