The list goes on...

Why am i so scared all the time? I mean, not scared... insecure...

I need to learn not to be so worried all the time. The littlest difference in voice and I worry that something is wrong. Not just voice... but I just get 'the feeling'... I have always trusted my gut instinct, it has never let me down...

So at home tonight. PJ is here, we were gonna go out, but decided to hang at home, drink beer and listen to Robbies new album.

Feeling a bit down anyway, so probably not so much fun out.

2 days 19 hours until I see him. Feels so excruciatingly far away...

Are we going to be OK? I am always worrying, and you know why??? Cos he is so beautiful. I worry why he wants me. I worry about obviously the abundance of seriously beautiful guys in Melbourne that he could have. I worry about the amount of times he gets cruised... and I'm not there. It's so easy to weigh up options between a hot guy who lives in your city, and a guy who lives 1200kms away that you only see every few weeks.

I mean, who would choose this option?? Well, of course - I did. I could not ask for a more amazing boyfriend. Dean is the most beautiful guy I have ever dated. He is simply stunning, intelligent, funny, mature, sexy, handsome, the list goes on...