Sunday, January 21, 2007

Nights in suburbian clubland...

Friday night was Midsumma launch - I didn't end up going. It was too hard to get into the city without a car, or at least a lift to the train station. God, I really need to move into the city soon...
So later in the evening, Ange suggested I go with her and BF to visit friends, play a few games of pool and check out a new club - it was opening night or something. Hmmm, a Friday evening doing northern suburbs straight people things... Joy...

So, first stop Ange's friends Skye & Daniel's place. Daniel is one really hot guy... rough, but boy next door... mmmm. Good thing was, I told his GF and she thought it was sweet. He found out and had no problem either.
Sat out the front drinking, and talking. Then made our way to this club which I cannot recall the name. It was opening night. Actually located behind a bowling alley in an industrial estate out in the middle of fuck-knows-where. Met more of their friends there. Lovely people, but can't remember their names...

$5 cover charge.. OK, not too bad, but honey, they really should be paying us to go in...
So get to the cover charge chick, and I am told that I need to not only show them driver's licence, but put it in this scanner machine thing and let them store a hi-res scanned copy! Bullshit! With all of the identity theft shit going on at the moment, and the police and news reports saying never allow your license to be copied - plus it actually being an offense to demand to keep a copy of your license - like hell I was gonna let them do that. So after a good 20 minute discussion with the owner, and the biggest, rudest, toughest doorman they had (bet he takes it like a bitch anyway) they let me in with just writing down my license number and name.

Win number 1...

Inside, it was like an aircraft hangar. Huge, enormous ceilings, lots of glass and steel with a smattering of wood paneling. On one side was a huge area full of pool tables and bad lighting The centre in front was a nice big bar, behind that video games and a lounge area, To the other side was a huge dance floor, another lounge area and a stage. What really made this place great... was the abundance of incredibly HOT straight boys. Oh-my-God... I swear I developed whiplash within 5 minutes of being in there. Amazing how they breed them out here. Well dressed, sexy faces, good hair... problem was that once upon a time you could tell the gay boys from the straight ones.... here, it was impossible to tell... they all looked like gorgeous gay boys.

Part way through the night, dancing with lots of girls (funny how they seem to congregate around the gay boy), a band came on - they were great, played lot soft rock, some pop stuff, but seriously gay - I think the handsome lead singer and the sexy Asian bass guitarist are a couple...

Went to the bar, and completely forgot the whole Pot/Pint thing - and asked for a Carlton Draught "in the big glass"... when it arrived (to a smirk from the bar-chick) I realised how big they are and quietly commented "oh, I forgot they were this big." To which the very rough scary looking dude next to me, with tattoos covering 97% of his body, says "Too big? Mate, you can't handle it? Nah, don't think you can handle it, shoulda got a girly drink, mate." I looked at him, from under my alcohol induced new found toughness "Mate, this is no problem, I could skull this." To which he took me up on the challenge "Or'right mate, skull this and I'll buy ya another one." So it took just 4 seconds to down the 570ml... not my finest most culturally defining moment, I must say. But it was done, to the cheers of the half dozen people that had overheard the discussion and felt compelled to see if the gay boy could do it.

Win Number 2...

Took my second beer back to the floor where the group were still 'dancing' (that old favourite 2-step side slide routine).

Popped off to the bathroom at one point, and, standing at the urinal, this young short boy with shaved head stands near me, and tried to discretely check 'it' out... ha ha ha... silly boy, if I was straight he would have copped a beating... lucky it was me. He was trashed, and obviously trying very hard to fit in, but couldn't escape the truth... the boy loves cock. He says hi, and tries to make conversation... the urinal in a straight club is definitely not the place to be making conversation - and especially when their eyes are glued to your crotch... so, I politely laughed and headed back to the safety of the group.

The night finished rather abruptly, when we discovered that Ange and her BF were having a domestic. In typical straight bar fashion, the domestic was played out in full view of the entire club crowd. It was pushed outside where we had to separate the pair at different ends of the parking lot. Trashy. Split into two cars, we all drove home. After just 5 minutes at home, desperately needing to reaffirm my homosexuality, I took my sisters car and drove to the city. Where can I be at my gayest... The Peel.

It's pretty bad arriving at a bar at 3am - especially when you are not trashed and everyone else is by that stage. But I made my own fun, bumped into a few people that I recognised. It's nice to start being able to bump into people, or people saying hi to you as you walk past... I don't feel so much of a loner now... Ran into an old friend from Sydney, and hung out with him for the rest of the morning. Still a little trashed, he offered to drive my sisters car home instead of me (once again) sleeping in it.

So drove back to Hell's Corner and passed out for a few hours. Woke up to a houseful... family, extended family and Ange's friends. OK, now this is going to be awkward - staggered out of the bedroom, with a boy in tow... OK everyone, this is NOT what you think. Subjected to a few raised eyebrows and a couple of 'mhmm's... we escaped to the couch and zonked out in front of the TV.

Why is it that people assume that gay boys cannot share a bed without screwing?

The rest of Saturday was a blur, hung over, tired, sore, blaaah... Took M to the train station mid afternoon then had to start getting ready for Mum's birthday dinner.

Dinner was at the Templestowe Hotel, about 20 minutes from Hell's Corner out past Greensbrough.

I drove Craig's car with Ange and Craig's daughter. Part way there, turning a corner at a huge intersection, the car lost traction... OK minor slide, but manageable... nope... the car continued to spin... and spin... holy fuck! We spun around twice... a full 720 degrees! Eventually coming to a rest in the centre of the road... thank God the only other cars were behind us stopped at the lights, and the road was wide enough to comfortably contain our automobile pirouette. It honestly would have looked quite spectacular from the cars at the lights... almost like those wild car chases from helicopters you see on TV...

Me : seriously shaken. Ange & Co. : "Woo Hoo!!! That was fun!"

The rest of the drive to dinner was slow, and corners were taken at tricycle speeds.

Dinner was interesting. It was a buffet. And in true buffet spirit, the majority of people felt that the food was most definitely going to run out - so it was a 'kill or be killed' mentality... suburbanites are suburbanites, no matter which city you are in.... bless 'em

After dinner, headed home as I was seriously tired and still feeling a little off from the night before. Home at 10.30, asleep by 11.

Today is mum's birthday. Woke up about 9, crawled out and gave mum her gift - two tickets to Eric Clapton on Feb 4th. Not the best seats, since the shows were pretty much sold out, but at least managed to get two. Mum didn't care, she was going to Eric Clapton. She cried.

Breakfast was huge - definitely NOT needed after last nights serious gluttony session.

The Pride March and Concert are on at St. Kilda this afternoon. Heading in there about 3pm, meeting up with W & Co. Can't make it a big night, but should hang around until it all finishes at 11. Preying I can nick my sisters car again... not looking forward to the late night hour long train trip home if I can't...

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