Karma's a bitch, huh...

I really thought that people placed more value in their relationships - to the point of actually working through issues - instead of walking away. To be honest, I don't really even know where this all came from. One stupid moment dragged on, and on, and on... like no matter what I did to try to make things right, I felt like I was kicked at every turn, shredded at every comment... I think that I was the only one that wanted it to go back to normal...

After 3 months long distance, a little turbulence probably was expected in the initial time together... the pressures of knowing each other, but not used to being around each other. The whole sudden change in the dynamic of the relationship. I thought "OK, this is going to be a little rough to start, but you know, it was worth moving all this way for it, so it's obviously worth whatever we have to get through..." Somehow I thought that we would both have this mentality. And surprisingly, I really didn't think that after 2 weeks it would be too hard - at least for one of us.

First week of this new year has been the worst I have ever had. I hope it gets better than this. Seems like since the day I made 'that' decision 5 months ago, everything has gone to shit.

Maybe it's what I needed. Someone to kick me in the guts, teach me to stop being so fucking naive. Maybe it's Karma. I left Mark for good reasons, but he was left stunned and shattered because he didn't know it was coming. That was after almost 3 years. Maybe this has happened to me as payback. Karma's a bitch, huh...

I am seeing him on Sunday. I think that since it was done over the phone, I deserve at least a face to face...

I hope that out of this, I still get to keep a few friends, or at least keep in touch with them. First people I met in Melbourne, and really so nice.

OK, Brad - pull yourself together... Step 1...