I am such a fool...

After a few days of being a pathetic mess, I was counting down to seeing Dean on Sunday to talk about everything. Maybe another chance...

We met at Federation Square - suitable weather for the occasion... cold, wet, windy, i.e. miserable. Over a couple of beers, we had a good long talk. You know, every couple argues. Sometimes the worst in someone comes out during those arguments, and sometimes horrible things are said. But never-the-less, it's all part of learning to be together, learning how to communicate, how to function in a relationship. Very natural.

After our talk, I felt positive. I thought, not all set, but possibly he saw my point and that we might have a chance. Then a nice walk along the Yarra, arms around each other. We sat and cuddled and kissed for a little while. I told him again how great we were together. Walked back to the car, hugged and kissed some more. Obviously something felt right here...

Spent the rest of the day on cloud 9. Although I wasn't totally confident that it would be OK... after the past couple of hours, I thought we would at least have an opportunity for another go at it... Bounced around the city, happy at home, slept well - best sleep in weeks...

How much of a fool can I be. I completely misread the whole thing. The kisses, the hugs... Blinded maybe? Stupid, stupid fool.

Today marks the start of the second week of 2007 - the 1st week was the worst start to a year in recent memory. Let's skip the first week and start it all again from today.

Happy Fucking New Year.

I guess now it's a clean break, I can move on. Well, try to.

Back to step 1, fool.